The facial animation seems ok, but the body still needs some work and you might want to rework the storytelling.
From the story I think you could get more out of it, if you would add another layer of storytelling to it. Here an example: if the box would be bit smaller and he would actually pick it up and then shake it to hear what's in it while he says "I think it's Italian". And then the lady voice corrects him and he realizes that the shaking might not have been to best thing to do if it is "fragile" and putting it back on the table very careful and embarrassed, you would probably end up with a funnier and more interesting story. Something like this - feel free to use my idea, but in general if he would do another action which would give a hint about the person or the situation with the woman or something like this or some struggle he wants to overcome - while reading.
Maybe play with the camera and staging a bit - the current position might not be ideal. Should it resemble the eyes of the invisible lady - then it would be probably lower. Otherwise if it's just a camera in the room I would still lower it a bit - but as always, it's just an idea.
The poses from 0-89 are all very similar. I am not saying that it might be necessary to do a lot of drastic weight and pose shifts, since it might lead to overacting, but especially in the beginning when he says "Ahh" he could be doing something a bit different, like turning the parcel around and looking for the label or so, just to spice it up. Maybe also try to make it a bit clearer what he is doing - if he is actually reading a label, his hand pointing and where he is exactly looking seems a bit too generic. In general it's a good idea to make a buildup from small (what is it) to big (I know what it is) then small (I am stupid) again.
For the timing of the animation - it's still in a rough state, so I am sure the overlap, overshoot and secondaries will still follow (e.g. in the hands and fingers and a bit more on the head). Maybe also add a bit more anticipation before getting up. When he is standing up the right hand feels a bit IK nailed. it might be probably better to first pull it toward the body and then do a bit of an outward swing to support the big pose. For the left hand - the two positions when he getting up look a bit disconnected, maybe make 1 swing out of it, which might look a bit more natural. Always check your arcs on the hands.
Around 145 he is freezing up a bit too much, I would still let him breath or something.
I like him sinking into the last pose from 150 to 160 on the upper body, but you might want to make the big pose (before 150 a bit bigger) and then the hips need to move a tiny bit as well, when he does the pose change.
In the end he is freezing up again, he should be alive to the last frame.
As always just my personal thoughts. Thanks for posting the animation! Looking forward to seeing more
As for the shake and put down idea, I initially thought something like that would be fun but in the end, the audio didn't really allow for it. I'm going to try to build that curiosity in to his face more as I refine it though.
Still a lot of overlap etc to do now. Crits are still welcome though
w.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2008, 09:44:52 AM by willchristiansen »
The first part, up until about frame 110, is really well made. Good animation! I have watched it several times and I'm still quite amazed how well it works with the voice. Please don't change that! (Well, maybe the head from 94 to 101 is just a tad to much) But after 110 it turns into something weird. The getting glasses back does not work for me and does not corresponds with the nice anim before. It seems totally over animated. I like that he ends totally happy, but the expression he gets at 164 is somewhat misleading to me. I see him more like he don't care, where I think a surprise (subtle) or disbelief and a look back at the box would work better. He could say his 'Oh yeah' line when looking at it.( Edit: I just thought of this for an idea - he could tip his glasses up and squeeze his eyes as he say it... But just a quick thought)
But overall - really nice job so far. Looking forward to an update
« Last Edit: July 01, 2008, 02:07:12 PM by soren lumholtz »
I don't know about 'dead', but maybe summer vacation has something to do with the quiet period ?!?
But your piece here is coming really nicely together. Congrats with work well done. Keep it like that and put it on your reel or, if you want, try this one thing: Turn his head immediately after she says 'fragile', so he has to see the text again to understand, before he answer 'oh yeah' - I know there's not a lot of time and I'm not even sure if it would work better, but hopefully you will try it
Heya thanks for the replies! I felt like the mouth shapes needed some more work before I rendered, so here it is. I realize the render is way over-lit, I was on a dark monitor: www.willchristiansen.com/animation/fragile.mov
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Please don't change that! (Well, maybe the head from 94 to 101 is just a tad to much)
